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What are we doing here?

I think a good way to start this out is to shed a little light on why I started this website in the first place, what's it's already evolved into in the short two months it's been live and where I might be heading with it.

I started this site in September while I was stuck at home quarantining from everybody's favorite pandemic disease, the one and only Covid-19. I myself never actually got sick, but I was exposed to multiple Covid patients for over a month, so naturally I had to quarantine also. Being stuck at home for two weeks turned out to be a really boring and stressful time so building a website seemed like a good way spend some time.

To start this whole thing off, in late August I very unexpectedly lost my grandma (not covid related, her heart just decided she had, had enough of this life). It was a devastating blow to my close knit family and put a lot of extra strain and pressure on everyone. While trying to lay her to rest, both my parents and grandpa all ended up testing positive for Covid, just two weeks after my grandma's passing. My mom was sick but luckily recovered quickly, while my dad and grandpa both ended up in the hospital fighting for their lives. We had multiple other families in different states end up contracting and falling sick, some of whom are still fighting to stay alive. Long story short, the end of August to the beginning of October sucked and has been one of the worst periods of my life to date.

My grandma, me and my mom circa 2019?
Three Generations

While I was quarantining with my grandpa, I had a lot of time on my hands. I also came across a really cool sounding job opportunity that requested a portfolio link. I had been telling myself since I graduated college in 2014 that I needed to build a portfolio, I just never seemed to be able to get it done. I've made a lot of attempts to do so, but I have this really bad problem with feeling like I can't publish something unless it's perfect. Well this time, I decided I was going to publish it, even if it wasn't perfect and then I could work on it over time. So here we are, after 7+ years I FINALLY published a portfolio and even started sharing it with my friends and family via social media.

On top of the family Covid crisis, I also went through a really nasty divorce just over a year ago in which my supposed soul mate cheated on me and walked out on me with no warning and then proceeded to lie to and manipulate me into getting what he wanted, while leaving me heartbroken, lost, and alone. Needless to say, even before Covid and losing my grandma, my world was feeling pretty broken and I was having a lot of trouble focusing on anything other than what I was going to do with my suddenly husbandless life. I found after publishing my site, that I actually had something positive to focus on, which is what lead to adding more pages and spending more time creating a website I could be really proud of. I still have a long way to go and want to make a lot of changes and add a lot more, but I'm still really proud of the fact that I actually did it: I bought a domain and published something that's all my own.

Like I said in my fist post, I'm not 100% sure where I'm going with this site or blog, but I feel in my heart I have more to do. I want to continue to create something I can be really proud of. I want to get back to the things I love doing. I'm a creator. I want to point out that I use the term creator specifically, because I recently realized I am more than just an artist, painter, designer, crafter, etc. What I really want to do with my life is create content both online and in the real world, which is why I started this blog and will be adding social media links related to my site over time.

So that's my main goal right now. It's a very broad goal, but it's a goal nonetheless; create and create often, even if it's not perfect or even "good", just keep creating. Until next time, Peace and Love to all.

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